Aunty Mamie

Dear Aunty Mamie
    I have been very dishonest with my boyfriend lately. We have been together for almost two years now and I love him very much. However, every time the word “children” comes up in a conversation, he’ll get very upset. I am not sure whether he wants kids because we never talk about it. “Kids, “children” or “pregnant” are words he hates to hear, so to avoid fights, we never talk about it. About a week ago, I found out I was pregnant. It has been almost two weeks now and I still have not told him. I’m so frightened and confused because I don’t know how he will take it.
From Lusu
                
Lusu,
    I understand your situation. I understand that you are confused, but what goes in must come out. You cannot disguise your belly for too long. As you said, he did not exactly say that he did not want children. You will never know until you find out. Tell him that he has a baby on the way; he has the right to know. You never know Lusu, but to most men, having a baby is a proud moment in their lives. I wish you all the luck.

Dear Aunty Mamie,
    I saw my father kissing another woman a few days ago. I didn’t say anything because I was still confused about the situation. My father loves my mother and they have been married for almost twenty years. The following week, I saw the same woman driving his car. At this point, I needed to know so I asked him about it. He said the woman was a friend of my mother, and that he was planning a surprise for my mother’s birthday. My father later introduced Musu, my mother’s so-called friend to me. That night when I got home, I told my mom about Musu who was nice to me. I was stunned when my mother told me that she didn’t know anybody called Musu. In fact, she said she never heard that name. Then it became clear that my father was having an affair with this woman. I love my parents and I don’t want them to divorce. However, I think it is unfair to my mother. Should I tell her that her husband is cheating on her?
From Hope
Dear Hope,
    Don’t tell your mother just yet. Give your father a chance to explain himself. I would suggest that you tell your father that you know about his affairs. Then tell him that you want him to stop, if he loves and cares about his family, he will stop. Finally, tell him to confess to your mother and apologize to her. Your mother can decide to either forgive him or not forgive him. Don’t beat yourself up over the situation. It is not your fault.

Posted by Funtimes magazine at 2/2/2009 10:50 AM
Categories: Relationship, Counseling
 

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