Did my Nigerian husband marry me for papers? By Eric John Nzeribe
"Africans use the sisters." Jackie pronounced.
"Monique, my friend", she continued, "married an African and they had a society wedding". It was well attended and a roll call of who’s, who. After the reception day, the bride and groom drove home in a carload of gifts. The groom dropped off the bride and told her he was going to bring the remainder of the gifts and never came back. It is four and a half years now and no person has explained his whereabouts…."
Telling the story, Jackie, who has worked up her emotions, was presently prancing up and down.
"What do you think happened?" I asked in a calm voice.
"The dude used her." She retorted. "He needed his immigration papers and marrying her was key to the American dream."
I chuckled but she did not find it funny.
"Bonaventure or whatever they called him used Monique," Jackie declared.
"Their barely five months of romance and wedding cost my friend almost $75,000 and some change draining her life savings…I will be damned if any other African will befriend any person ever that I know," she concluded.
"Let’s get this right," I said quietly to Jackie, "I am not in any relationship and I do not seek any. That said, I think you are unfair to believe Bonaventure ran off on your friend. What does he benefit? From your story, Bona for short, arrived to the US from Nigeria, West Africa, as a visitor in December 2003. He encountered you and Monique at 1st Baptist Church in Overbrook, Philadelphia and immediately took to Monique. Their affection was mutual and they started dating. Barely four months later, were they married."
Monique, 41, has "been there and done that." She is an active member of her church and moonlights as a gospel singer. She works with the City of Philadelphia in the Water Department. Monique was into the housing rehabilitation business for a quick turnaround. She has African tenants in some of her apartments and developed affection for them.
On the other hand, Bonaventure was on a visitor visa. Though he has a BSC degree, he did not have a job and when his visa expired three months from date of entry in the US, he technically became an illegal alien. Monique, it is clear, bankrolled the wedding, relationship, and their social class for that matter. The wedding was critical to his acquiring his papers and gave some legitimacy to his freeloading on Monique. Therefore, it is not surprising that the reactions and emotions to what happened that evening are biased and tainted. To the uninformed, Bonaventure was a scoundrel but is that the whole truth.
The process of changing status from illegal alien to legal resident may begin with getting married to an American but it does not end there. According to Attorney Nduka, after a wedding, the wife (American citizen) files the alien relative petition 1-130 for her husband, which includes permanent resident application and a work permit application. The fingerprinting and interview will take anywhere from 6 months to 8 months at least. If at any time the wife develops cold feet, the process halts. The husband must remain an obedient servant, or the process comes crashing to the ground should she decide to bail out.
Thus, Bonaventure could not have disappeared with the intention of cashing in on his new marital status to a citizen. The process is much more. So what happened? Is Bonaventure alive or dead?
If alive,
Did he use Monique and take her for a ride? On the other hand, did Monique sell US permanent residence for few boots of bedroom pleasure, photo ops, and a laundry list of expenses?
What do we not know about Bonaventure and what would have forced him to abandon a predictably, smooth transition to responsible citizenry in US for the unknown.
If dead,
Was he an innocent victim of unintended death/murder?
Did Bonaventure skid off the road and plunge to death without being found?
Did Monique’s previous associations have anything to do with the young man’s disappearance?
If you have, any ideas as to what happened and suggestions to alleviate pain and emotional trauma, write us. You may give us your take on cross-cultural, bi-racial relationship. The address is letters@funtimesmagazine.us
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